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May 23, 1999

R*n #22:
Venue:
Skoke Lagoons
Hares: Wildman and Soar Balls

Platoon in the Skokie Lagoons

It was a rainy morning on May 23.  The only thing that was going to be normal was the trail.  As people arrived at the site of "Billy" Wildmansen Forest Preserve, thirteen hashers were ready to follow trail.  But before the trail started, Whiners were among the group.  As Platoon leaders, Wild Balls and Soar Man arrived thirty minutes late on the start of the trip.  The only thing promised was that the trail was only five miles. {A rough estimate. -ed.}  My middle finger started to fly high into the air just like a flag.

As we started our mission, a golf course was a first major challenge.  Rear Ender {who? -ed.}and I should have stopped and played nine holes, but it was too early to quit.  After dodging golfers and their hard white balls and strong solid shafts, the trail was normal, even after a solid rain.  But then the trail went through the swampland of north Cook County.  The trail was in TP.  Some places of the trail were ankle high to knee-hi in water.  And the hashers were dropping out two by two.  My reason for this was A Lack Of A Beer Stop along trail.  Even Platoon leader Soar Man had to be like a Cap'n Golden retriever to point the way out of the swamp of Laguna Beach for the surviving hashers.

At the end other hashers who were out of town like Specklebird and Easy Sunday from Kelly's Heros Island showed up for the circle.  A new nameing came to www.cum to www.bmw.www.cum (www.Bitch Moan Whine. whine whine whine.cum). 

The trail rating was 3 feet but a 1/2 a foot for a lack of beer stop on trail.

 - Cap'n Golden

 

Note added in proof:

The illustrious Cap'n Golden failed to mention the fine foods and beer that were made available thanks to the selflessness of Gaseous Clay, who volunteered to rest his plantar fascia for the day and procure food and drink while the rest of us suffered on trail (thanks Gaseous).  Also of note, only Horn-E, Bloody Thighs, Ben Dover, Cockstrapper, and Cap'n Golden himself managed to traverse the entire trail.  Buffalo Nuts and Rear Guard took authorized short-cuts, while Shrikanth and WWW.WHATTHE F*CK took impromptu ones.              -ed.

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