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July 4, 1999

R*n #25:
Westchester Woods
Hares: Yer-Anus and EZ Sunday

Aah! Independence Day!

Will it be spent across the street in Independence Park?


Will it be spent in the Independence Tap?


It's off to Cermak Woods, just like the hotline says. Only problem....

There is no Cermak Woods!!!!

I was already r*nning late trying to print out the last sixthly on a computer with a broken monitor, on a printer that wouldn't feed paper, and on a copier that liked to jam. I figured maybe the pack would wait for their old buddy Soar Balls.


I followed along trail as best I could, hoping that there might be some assistance for me from the pack.


About four checks and many four-letter words later, I heard my nemeses calling from the tops of the railroad tracks. The first one I saw was Susan May of the Elmhurst R*nners' Club. Blew past her, and fought my way towards the FRB's like Full Term, Wild Man, and Dave Polkow, another Elmhurstian.

After a few daunting ins and outs of the woods, flirting with the bike path, I craniumed my way along said bike path and along the Brezina Woods paths, recalling them from the Chicago Beer Society Picnic Hash of a year previous. Any trail here?


Eventually, following trail back into the woods and along the river, I found the hashers gathered for a beer stop with the live hares, EZ and Yer-Anus. Who should come trotting along just then, actually following trail, but Dainty, still seemingly nursing her sore foot (lucky foot!).

I gave the hares a cranky earful for leaving without me, but my mood was greatly improved by a beer or two. The hares were released, and then we went and chased them again. Trail wound back over the trails I'd come in on, and right over the top of some unsuspecting sunbathing woman. By now I'd slunk to the back of the pack with Speckie, Dainty, Buffalo Nuts, and Rear Guard. This allowed a short-cutting of the apartment complex with the swimming pool, and more short-cutting of woods.

Somewhere along the way, Full Term (or maybe it was Gaseous Clay) managed to lose his footing on the precarious flat pavement, thus skinning his knee. Our short-cutting paid off, though, as Speckie and I won the hash, actually spying a hare emerging from the woods to put the finishing touches on the trail.

Grills were started, and I got in the caravan back to the cars to get the beers of America that I had brought to celebrate the holiday (they were out of American Beer). Beers were drunk, food was eaten, and down-downs were given, particularly for newcomers from Elmhurst, Bill and visiting Arjun (I may have gotten those backwards). All in all, another shitty hash. (Two balls, medium)

- Soar Balls

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