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July 18, 1999

R*n #26
Swallow Cliff Woods
Hare: Soar Balls

2nd City Hash Celebrates
Its 1st Anniversary

Since I have been delinquent in my duties, hopefully I have not killed off too many brain cells with the memory of the Hash which took place on 19 July 1999.  As far as I can recall, (The Finger) and I arrived fashionably late, but the pack had hardly even begun to think about starting off on trail when we pulled into the parking lot.  The start was at the base of the Swallow Cliff toboggan hill.  Does anyone else ever remember any other hashes passing through there?  I sure don't.

Unfortunately, I don't remember everyone that was in attendance, but I do recall that Speckie had just come back from Nekkid City, Soar Balls was the hare, Mud Sucker, Cap'n Golden, E-Z Sunday, a virgin (do we really care what his name is) (it's Dale -ed.), and many more were present. 

The pack finally set off on trail and no sooner than we became spread out, did we encounter the first Eagle-Turkey split.  Me being the idiot that I am followed the Eagle trail.  Up, down, Up, Down, Up, Down, while everyone else decided to keep to the high ground and shortcut.  What an idea, why didn't I think of that.  Trail finally leveled out, and led right into a large tight thicket with no semblance of trail anywhere to be seen.  But, sure enough, trail went straight through almost to the road.  Across the road, through a parking lot to a back check.  EZ and I were stuck trying to figure the back check out while all the other short cutters were somewhere ahead of us on trail by now.  Finally, we found trail again, and caught the FRBs.  They stopped where Eagle and Turkey merged. 

Since Soar Balls' car was nearby, the pack guessed that the beer stop was within sight.  I, never wanting to be without beer, continued on alone.  Finally, I came upon the hare, going backward on trail toward his car.  I knew now that beer was near!  As I arrived at the beer stop what did I find but the Turkey Trail pack almost ready to head off on trail already!  They sure didn't look too dirty or bloody for that matter.

Eventually the rest of the pack showed up at the beer stop where there was beer to be had.  As the beer petered out, we decided that it was time to continue on trail, as the finish could not be too far from where we were.  Sure enough, a short distance made longer by numerous curving trails winding all around and slowly moving in the direction of the finish was all that separated us from more beer. 

About halfway to the finish, who else but Sex, Lies and Videotape should show up, following trail backwards.  It appears that he arrived just a few minutes after the pack left the parking lot.  Trail finished up in the usual manner, Up, Down, Up, Down, and around behind the toboggan hill and finally UUUUPPPPP the back side and then Down the stairs to the finish.  As I came down the stairs I felt a sudden urge to drop trou and say hello to everyone, but memories of the last time I did that at the base of the hill kept me from exposing myself this time. 

Eventually, the hash was reassembled at the finish where Brats, Dogs and Veggie Burgers were had by all, not to mention the birthday cake!  Down-Downs were many and enjoyed by almost all.  In my book of hashes, this one rated a 9.5!  Many drew blood, the beer was good, and much mud was found on trail.  All the essential elements of a successful hash.

 - Cock-Strapper

(And, as it happens, on out.  Fond Farewells to CS as he journeys to Virginia for more active duty.  - Soar Balls)

Some additional notes on the First Anniversary Hash for the 2nd City Hash House Harriers.  In no particular order:

  • We saw the return of long-lost CTITS hasher, The Rapist, back at the site of her virgin hare locale a year and a half earlier.
  • This was also Peterbilt's first 2nd City Hash, although he showed up at the ON-ON-ON to the Febrewery hash.
  • Cap'n Golden tried his luck with the Eagles, and straggled into the beer stop about a half hour after everyone else.
  • Tasty Berghof beer from a reasonably priced quarter-barrel was the libation of the day.  YUMMY!!
  • The Turkeys decided to actually r*n a little bit and caught the hare at his car, filling growlers with the afore-mentioned Berghof for the beer stop in a little stone hut in the woods.
  • Grilled foods were followed by beer softball, requiring one hand on one's beer at all times.  Just the sport for us drunkards.
  • Cops pulled up trying to arrest Full Term and Head Cheese as I drove out of the Forest Preserve blind drunk.
  • Wild Man was there, but I don't recall him doing anything worthy of mention here, so I won't.
  • The birthday cake served a dual purpose, celebrating birthdays for both The Rapist and The 2nd City Hash.
  • After working all day at setting trail, I found several of my splits obliterated by inconsiderate mountain bikers.
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