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April 25, 1999

R*n #20:
Busse Woods
Hares: Wet N Wild and Norm

Buddy Kenya Spare Some Shoes Hash

 I talked to our illustrious editor, last night.  It went something like this: 

Soar Balls : Speckie, can you do the write up for Wet N Wild and Norm's hash? 

Me: But I don't remember anything from the hash, do you realize how many beers ago that was for me? 

SB: According to my calculations, between 567 and 569 beers. 

Me: Wow, that many? I lost count after 21. (I can't count to 21 unless I'm naked). 

SB : So, are you going to do a write up?

Me:  Uh, OK. 

So I'm now tapping my brain in attempts to stimulate the neurons into giving me the proper memories, which is difficult after so many beers.  If my facts aren't exactly straight please forgive me. 

The intrepid pack met at the Elk Grove Elk pen where all the elk hang out in Elk Grove Village.  A very large pack was present; there had to have been 500 to 600 people there at least.  Norm gave us the chalk talk and explained that Wet N Wild was manning the beer stop.  So off we went, straight for that huge bridge.  After crossing said bridge (Bridge? Who said bridge?), we immediately headed, er, veered completely away from the woods and into the suburban homes and busi-nesses of Elk Grove Village.  After running up and down the streets, we eventually found a nice little patch of shig-ette, an ankle deep puddle with a Barbie car, an old bouquet of flowers and other interesting items floating around within.  The hashers took to the shiggy like a pig taking to a stick of butter.

This is where things get hazy.  I seem to recall up to two dozen dark ninjas rappelling out of an Osprey VTOL hoverplane and attacking us with their swords and sticks while doing many cat-like flips and spins.  Fortunately, G. I. Joe (known in Britain as Action Man) swung in and Kung Fu gripped the ninja clan into next Tuesday.  We then ran around the high school and crossed the street to the beer check.  There we enjoyed the finest beer Kenya has to offer:  Bud! 

Soon we were off again and into the woods.  We ran through some thick mud and up onto a bridge crossing a dam (Dam? Who said dam?), at which point Little Pink Head Cheese All Talk No Shit Can't Cut It Whip It Whip It Good I Hate Hootie Deer Slayer Warm Busch Dammit! had had enough and signaled the mothership of Elvis Clones to pick her up and take her to Zwork Prime.  We ran through the woods some more and eventually maneuvered towards the On In. 

At the On In we enjoyed Nutter Butters, Beer, Doritos and Full Term's attempts to start a fire.  Down Downs were held in a joint effort between Full Term and Speckie signifying the bringing together of the two Chicago hashes to provide old smelly size 11 shoes to all of those fast Kenyan bastards who run past and make faces at us at every marathon I have been in.  Everyone enjoyed their beer, Dainty made an appearance, there were some new people who I haven't seen in a few weeks, and some of us even On On On'ed to the bowling alley and Denny's for camaraderie and Moon Over My Hammy Sandwiches

 - Specklebird

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